Let Your Sparkles Shine! - Antonette Espacio-Benitez

(This blog is third of a long series of profiles on friends and acquaintances I have met in my life journey. I invited them to share my spot because I believe in synergy, where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are parts of the whole, and together we are indeed great!)

(Photo by Jessa Wallace)

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I met Antonette, a Filipina, in the Hay House World Summit 2014 Facebook group. When she traveled from California to visit the Philippines in 2015, we were able to establish connections with common friends. Finally, she and I met last month in Las Vegas. I immediately aligned with her vibrant energy and future dreams.

Antonette is on the cusp of something big in her Creative Process – she is fulfilling her dream of becoming a Certified Life and Business Coach and Angel Card Reader even as she joyfully serves her family as full-time wife and mother. Here is her timeline in terms of multi-level awakening.

The Past. Growing up, I learned valuable lessons from mom. Her being a housewife and her mere presence every time we come home from school, plus her love for cooking and baking gave me and my brother the feeling of stability. We knew that she will always be there for us and that we can always count on her in our day-to-day lives. Mom is always a happy person who loves to host parties and have friends around for a get-together. From Dad, I value the love, respect, and hard work he did for my mom and us. A man of few words, he has a very calm demeanor. He is the pillar of our household. Those are his strengths.

I have so many role models. I've always loved Oprah Winfrey and her show Super Soul Sunday. That's where I first embraced the love for life lessons. There’s Mother Teresa and her love, compassion, and humility… and Elizabeth Gilbert. I love her human fragility, strength, and determination. When I first read her book Eat, Pray, Love, I resonated with her life and how stuck and lost I was. That started my longing for a journey of soul-searching.

The Past and Present. I would like to say that I MYSELF, am my role model, too. Self-Awakening, Healing and Releasing, and Empowering myself again are my top three successes. I love the person that I was, the person that got lost, and the person that I am becoming now. I take care of myself physically through mindful eating habits, choices, and patterns. I read about healthy foods and their impact in our lives. I like walking. I used to practice yoga and stretching but not as much anymore. Taking care of myself emotionally, I cry if I need to release pent up emotions. I like to talk about my feelings and I don't like holding them in. Sometimes I feel like I could nag over something that bothers me, LOL! I sing my heart out and speak my thoughts and feelings.

Spiritually and mentally, I continue to learn and grow and I am open to all forms of religion. I respect them and I apply the principles and thoughts that I resonate with. I love the practice of Buddhism. I like to do tapping, meditation, affirmations, and mantras. I love healing and releasing...such a liberating feeling. I like to feed my thoughts with positivity and good vibes only. I have learned to create barriers for emotional vampires and suckers of energy. I love reading, especially personal development books. I also love to listen in on podcast videos or anything that motivates and inspires me.

The Present. It's nice to know that a lot more people are becoming aware of the need for world healing and they are open to spirituality. It's not about religion but what one can do to better themselves and the world. I have learned that there is no I, YOU, or ME.... in this life, it's all US. We are all one and the same... living our own lives in different ways but all for the same purpose and end result: LOVE.

Just like everybody else....... I AM STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS AND IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START LIVING MY TRUTH.

The Present and Future. I would like to be a BEACON of LIGHT, HOPE, and LOVE. I want to empower each and every person about their brilliance and magnificence in this world. There is plenty of abundance and we are all meant to live and experience them. I would like to encourage my friends and family to:

· Know yourselves first and foremost and go from there. We all need to start with our own issues first before we can even start looking at other people or the world. Criticizing is coming from a lack that we have in ourselves so the best way to change our lives is by admitting our own imperfections and work on them from within. It's okay to feel raw and vulnerable because that's where we grow and become beautiful in all aspects.

· Continue to learn and grow. Widen your knowledge and circle of friends and that will widen your experience and knowledge in life, too.

· Let your sparkles shine and don't get lost or stay lost in the dark. We are all meant to live in love, happiness, and prosperity!

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Find Antonette’s sparkles on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/travellingcoachbenitez/ and Instagram (beachmom1971) and you will never get lost in the dark!

I See Christ-Consciousness Now – Atho De La Cruz

This blog is second of a long series of profiles on friends and acquaintances I have met in my life journey. I invited them to share my spot because I believe in synergy, where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are parts of the whole, and together we are indeed great!

(Photo credit: Mystique Angels)

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Atho De La Cruz and I first walked together the path of enlightenment in the mid-2000’s under the guidance of our beloved spiritual mentor, Sr. Fidelis Estrada. That was in Iloilo City, and now Atho lives and works in Davao City, Philippines, as Love Coach, Energy Healer, and Events Coordinator, among other things.

I asked Atho what he thinks are the best positive lessons he learned from his parents that are valuable to him now as an adult. He said his mother taught him a most valuable lesson - unconditional love. “When she discovered that I have same-sex relationship with my best friend, she just told me, ‘It’s ok, I still love you.’” His mom also taught him organizational skills - to “arrange your things properly, from small to big…arrange colors from light to dark.” From his father, Atho learned the maxim,“When you are in doubt, then do not do it.”

Atho considers Dr. Wayne Dyer, Master Ekhart Tolle, and Oprah Winfrey as his role models, as well as Sister Fidelis Estrada, Joseph Kuan Ken, and Magdalena Oconer. Sister Fidelis inspired him to do community development, because practicing spirituality without community is useless. Joseph Kuan Ken exemplified financial responsibility and generosity while Magdalena Oconer explained quantum energy to him.

Atho learned other valuable lessons from his friends:

Dr. Henny Cabado – Practicing Zen meditation

Eva Arnot – No significance to anything, detachment, POC and POD (Point of Creation and Point of Destruction), and Bars energy consciousness and practice

Dorothy Tome: “Testingan ta, eh” (“Let’s try anyway”), A Course In Miracles (ACIM), and Strategic Attraction Plan

“As an adult,” Atho continued, “I have learned to have no attachment to anything. I learned the meaning of Freedom, Peace of mind, and Service to others. I have realized that Oneness means, ‘whatever you do to others, you’re doing it to yourself.’ Life is a journey. The name of the game is cause and effect, or The Law of Karma. Also, the Law of Attraction is part of our brain – Reticular Activating System. My latest AHA is that, if we lose our sense of purpose, then life is useless. Finding its meaning is very important because that’s the only way to fuel life to live.”

The meaning Atho has found in his life has everything to do with his successes, current work, advocacy, and motivations. He writes: “My top three successes in life are my ACIM community in Davao, my career as Spa Director, and being a Love Coach/ Emotional Healer. I also consider having peace of mind as a win. The legacy that I would like to leave the world is my support group or ACIM community. I also want to leave a legacy of spiritual empowerment and love for others. I am working now as a freelance Spa and Events Consultant in Davao. My advocacy is to train my therapists or staff to continue my concept of Filipino Spa in the wellness industry. What motivates me is empowering single mothers and other people who are willing to learn the very essence of SPA. SPA means Salus Per Aqua – Latin for healing water. When you see or hear the word ‘spa,’ it’s not about massage but it’s all about holistic healing, serving the well-being of a person.”

True enough, Atho applies his holistic healing in his self-care practices. “Physically, I take care of myself through massage, manicure, pedicure, eight hours of sleep a day, and taking supplements. Emotionally, I acknowledge my awareness of my emotion. I go through it, and I also talk to someone I trust. Spiritually, I sit in Zen meditation. I also use mindfulness and affirmations. Mentally, through meditation, yoga exercises, walking meditation, and labyrinth meditation.”

Asked what beautiful changes he is seeing in the world now, Atho noted, “Christ-consciousness, and moving towards the value of LOVE and Oneness…As encouragement to my friends and family, I say, receive life with ease! Liberate yourself with glory!”

And so we shall, Coach Atho!

Atho can be reached through his Facebook account as Atho de la Cruz TBV – Love Coach. You can ask him what TBV means. (wink*) He also gives Tarot Card Reading, Angel Card Readings, workshops, and seminars.

"Nobody Should Be Left Behind" - Leonides Ramos

This blog begins a long series of profiles on friends and acquaintances I have met in my life journey. I invited them to share my spot because I believe in synergy, where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are parts of the whole, and together we are indeed great!

* * *

Leonides Ramos, or “Igor Woods,” as he was introduced to me by our dear friend Arnel Mediran, hails from Bulacan, Philippines. He travels extensively with his wife and sometimes with his two daughters and son as part of his expertise as geological consultant.

Leo figured in a vacation accident over a year ago; he jumped from a cliff onto a river and hit the edge of a bamboo raft, thus fracturing his leg and causing him iron-clad immobility for 377 days. Yes, he counted the days and posted his progress on Facebook! What is striking for me (no pun intended) about this event in his life is his grit and faith peppered by his never-ending sense of humor.

Just recently, the rings and the cast were removed and Leo took this self-portrait with the following description: “early morning selfie by me on the way to my cast extraction at the hospital. I like it because it shows apprehension and hope at the same time. Ha, ha, ha.. it was a stolen selfie.”

I asked Leo his most immediate thoughts on some topics. Here are his answers which, I believe, show us his source of courage and lightness of being.

Q: What do you think are the best positive lessons you learned from your parents that are valuable to you now as an adult?

A: From my father, I would say it has to be independent thinking, self reliance, and a deep sense of responsibility and self control. From my mother, I learned the value of hard work and the art of being wisely frugal. The sense of humor favors my father. From my wife, patience.

Q: What are your top three wins/successes in life?

A: When my wife said yes, when my kids were born, and my first million in the stock market.

Q: Who are your three or four role models (living or not)?

A: Jesus Christ for his charisma and ultimate selfless sacrifice, Mahatma Gandhi for austere lifestyle and his beliefs in non-violence, Adolph Hitler for his brutality and absolute focus in getting what he wants and the Dalai Lama for his everyday wisdom and inspiration. And, oh, Chuck Norris for his imagined invincibility. Ha, ha, ha!

Q: What great spiritual or esoteric lessons have you learned as an adult?

A: Let the boss or the wife talk first. If you can't say anything good, keep your silence. In a discussion, stand up when it's your turn, speak up your mind, and then shut up.

Q: How do you take care of yourself?

A: Physically, I watch what I eat...so no can grab it away. Ha, ha, ha… Seriously, I am an occasionally moody eater. I eat depending on my mood and occasion. Emotionally, I turn to my family and friends for comfort and support. Spiritually, I turn the pages of the greatest book ever written...The Bible. I don't have a guru middleman. I'd like to think that I have developed this directly personal and more intimate relationship with my concept of God. Mentally, it would always be travels, books, and the internet.

Q: What beautiful changes are you seeing in the world now?

A: People are more aware of the environment now because changes are directly affecting them now.

Q: Do you have a legacy / life work that you would like to leave the world?

A: My children should be my legacy when I die. How I raised them is testimony to how I lived, loved, and suffered.

Q: What is your current advocacy or focus?

A: To do Samaritan things and give back all the things which I feel were given to me in excess...blessings, kindness and all the material things. God has been very generous to me and I am sharing as much as I can. My main advocacy is youth empowerment through education. Our website is The Giant Roof Foundation - http://thegiantroof.tripod.com

Q: What encouragement would you like to give your friends and family?

A: Be God-fearing and people-loving individuals. Travel when you can for a long as you can. Do not let the banks enjoy your monies. Eat what you like when you like but all in moderation. I have always wanted to make a difference in this planet in my own small ways. Maybe by just carrying that pebble across the road or sending a kid to school. Anything that may give an individual a fighting chance in life...call me. I believe that nobody should be left behind...even when the rapture comes. Life is not merely ones and zeros...it has to be lived to become an inspiration to others. Life is what you make it. And that's all I have to say about that.

Here’s to Leo, his wisdom, and his advocacies!

When Children Talk Back

If you ARE NOT like most fearful parents and ARE confident in who you are regardless of your family’s different social and cultural roles, gender preferences, religious beliefs, and political affiliations, you will definitely encourage your young ones to talk back to you. This is not about respect or disrespect – you are past that egoistic demand. Talking back to you allows your children to pick your brain and engage you in all sorts of intellectual intercourses. You will enjoy discussions, arguments, debates, negotiations, and all sorts of verbal exchanges with your children at various stages in their lives.

Here are the benefits for you as parents:

1. You get to know what your children are thinking and feeling about any given topic or issue. There’s no question that you will have fun and love each other all the more if you talk about common interests, but the best topics will be those that push your buttons – and their buttons. Where do they get their data – valid sources, hearsays, social media, meditation, friends, or you? How much of what you taught them have remained in their thinking and feeling? What areas need to be addressed immediately, or ignored?

2. You hear how they express their inner thoughts and feelings. Do they whine or shout? Are they calm and composed? Do their facial expressions and body language match their words? Can they hear themselves talk? Do they mirror you or other significant adults in their lives? What is their choice of words? Do they construct sentences coherently?

3. You experience their analytical skills, logic and reasoning abilities. Why do they like or dislike something? Do they proceed from specifics to generalizations, or vice versa? Do they have enough evidences to support their claims? Are they willing to be wrong? Once, when I was in my teens, I had an argument with my lawyer father and he used a big word on me – non sequitur. From then on, I made sure my line of reasoning had to pass his scrutiny.

4. You can correct anything by example and experience. The way you exchange energies with them through agreements and disagreements will be your tool for teaching by example. Are you also willing to be wrong? Will you correct through humor and parables, or through lectures? Will you use words or body language?

5. You can learn from them and be corrected of your stagnant beliefs. What language do they use? How has your understanding of certain issues changed through the years? What is their generation trying to tell you? Are you open to receive their wisdom?

6. You experience youthful and newer energy. Talking to younger people is always refreshing and invigorating, both physically and mentally.

7. Above all, you get to hear yourself – are you defensive, attentive, abrasive, supportive, sarcastic, kind, superior, level-headed, condescending, respectful?

Benefits for them:

1. They can practice verbal as well as non-verbal expressions of their thoughts and feelings to someone they probably fear or respect the most - you. You are their rehearsal ground for some future circumstance when they will have to face other authority figures. I remember how our daughter Chantal, aged 10, pointed out to her Science teacher that a duckbilled platypus was a mammal. In high school, she also stood up against another teacher who called the whole class “lazy” – “We are not lazy, Ma’am. We are just resting after cleaning the whole classroom.” She stood her ground and demanded an apology from the teacher. In college, she and her sister Nicole were under the same professor whose interpretation of a textbook seemed dubious. They stood by their own interpretation which, upon the professor’s consultation with the author, turned out to be correct.

2. They practice on / with you in safety, security, and love. Because they know where they stand with you, they can go full throttle in anything they want to practice on. At the proverbial end of the day, it’s all about “I love you.” When Nicole became severely depressed and suicidal, she eventually told me her darkest thoughts that were behind her fears. Even though she knew I was not in favor of her pills and she argued her case against my esoteric healing practices, she continued to talk to me.

3. They practice their analytical, logical, and reasoning skills. They can backtrack, re-phrase, re-arrange their ‘case’ and research some more when necessary. They can even gather other family members for team support. It was when our daughter Belle and son Daniel pooled resources for a face-off with me that I learned about my tendency to be all or nothing in my conclusions. They were able to cite past incidents to support their claim.

4. They learn how to persuade, influence, negotiate, plead, and argue with an adult whose energies are different from theirs. In this context, they will become curious and inclusive of infinite varieties of ideas, convictions, and perspectives. In the same context, they will choose which ones will work for them.

So go ahead and have a talk!

Fault-Finding and Love-Finding

If you seek conflict, you will find conflict.
If you seek peace, you will find peace.
Because "seek and you shall find."

The ego strongly recommends conflict, feeds conflict, feeds on conflict, and gloats about conflict. The ego thrives in creating more and more illusions that "the body is the true identity."

Filth-finding, like fault-finding, is what the ego does best. It trains the mind to look around through fear-based myopic eyes and find wrong things.

The healed mind, on the other hand, seeks only Peace, and finds Peace. The healed mind knows that we are spirit beings on a human journey, and turns over the illusion to the Holy Spirit.

Love-finding is what the Holy Spirit does best. The Holy Spirit trains the mind to look around through the eyes of Christ and find right things.

Be aware. Seek what you truly want and you shall find it.

Work Hard VS Work Easy

The idea of working hard is an offshoot of the belief that “life is hard.” Working hard assumes that success depends wholly on our human effort. We hear phrases like “I work hard for the money,” and “work hard so you will be successful.” We read quotes like “What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. (Stephen King)” and “I learned the value of hard work by working hard. (Margaret Mead).”

This article is not to say that King and Mead – and all others who believe in working hard – are wrong. This is merely an offering of alternatives to hard.

Hard means firm, solid, stiff, rigid, tough, unbreakable, inflexible, difficult, awkward, problematical, tricky, tough, demanding, testing, challenging, grueling, arduous, troublesome, cruel, callous, harsh, severe, unkind, brutal, strict, remorseless, pitiless, intense, violent, fierce, vigorous, relentless, fast.

When we work hard for a project, an employment, a relationship, or any goal, we develop an attachment to the work itself. This inevitably leads us to the temptation of playing some games:

• the Blame game when our hard work is not recognized: “You made me work hard for this; I deserve a reward.” “All my hard work for nothing…”
• the Guilt game when we fail: “I should have worked harder.”
• the Sacrifice game when we do it for someone: “My parents worked hard to put me to school. All their sacrifices have paid off. It is my turn to make sacrifices now for my children.” 
• the Pride game when we succeed: “See? I did it my way!” 
• the Attachment game when we misperceive: “My work is my life. It is who I am.”

In these contexts, fulfillment is dependent on human effort, most likely physical, mental, and emotional efforts. When such labor or actions are removed, where is the fulfillment? When the physical and intellectual factors are diminished, how can success be attained? Is there freedom and exhilarating joy in all that? What is the price to pay for working hard?

There are other words to replace hard. Consider easy, smart, joyful, excellent, determined, committed, on purpose, in alignment.

In the belief system that “life is easy, life loves me, life supports me, and I have everything I need,” work becomes co-operative with all of life. Work becomes a flowing along the abundant stream of creativity, innovation, collaboration, sharing, and infinite supply – “fluid, flexible and highly adaptable” in the words of Diarmuid O’Murchu.

Why shouldn’t life love us, if life is the extension of God Who Is All That Is? Life is Love is God. And why shouldn’t work be easy and joyful when we have everything we already need? Upon waking up, we give thanks for everything and ask our Creator: “What shall we do today? And how do we do it? How do You want me to bless the world today?”

In this new context, the human factor is simply the vehicle for purpose. As such, even the invalid, the physically disabled, the mentally challenged, the oldest, the youngest, the uneducated, the socially marginalized, and all those who do not have the physical and intellectual capacities to work hard can also feel fulfilled and successful, and be inspiring. Have we not witnessed and heard of people who were prompted by their intuition to create, innovate, and improve anything in such easy and effortless ways that we were compelled to ask, “Hey, why didn’t I think of that before?” Haven’t we heard them say, “I love what I do! It doesn’t feel like work!” and “Glory to God!”? In this context, we muse: “Is anything indeed too hard for God?” Did not Jesus say that, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light?”

Perhaps it is really hard work for those who push against their true calling. But for those of us who consciously work in conjunction with our purpose - blame and guilt, pride and sacrifice, and attachment and arrogance are not a temptation. It is not by our might nor by our power, but by the Spirit of God that we work. When we experience something contrary to what we want, it is just a learning point, an opportunity to clarify our awareness of who we really are and what our purpose really is.

Of course we do not dishonor the raw and physical exertions that athletes, soldiers, dancers, laborers, and mothers in childbirth actually experience. What they are doing – and what we are learning from them – is the dismantling of self-limitations and barriers against expansion and expression. Theirs is the “hardness” that matters.

A flower blooms easily. Rain falls effortlessly. Trees bend with the breeze. Life grows softly, quietly, gracefully. It is only through our unhealed minds that we misperceive a butterfly as wriggling hard against its cocoon, or a chick struggling and pecking its way out of its shell; our unhealed minds measure their efforts against their size. We judge incorrectly that the coming out is hard because we mistakenly believe that the emerging butterfly and chick are small, weak, and in pain. They are not. Our healed minds would lead us to see that their action is purposive, that they are strongly in alignment with who they really are, and are thus empowered and animated by their Source. We judge the cocoon and the eggshell as obstacles. They are not. Our healed minds would lead us to see that they are containers that have served their purpose and are ready to be discarded.

And so when are in alignment with our purpose, our work is easily guided; our countenance is bright and our energies are light. The outcomes and the products of our labor vibrate with quality and essence. There would be no need for insane and insatiable competition for greatness and more-ness.

Would we now embrace easily some of these words from Louise Hay and Orin and Daben?

• I work with ease and grace.
• As I do what I love, money and abundance flow freely to me.
• I value my time and energy.
• I choose to handle all my experiences with love, joy, and ease.
• I am always guided to the higher solution.
• I am abundantly provided as I follow my path.
• I always choose the path of most light.
• I commit to my path. I choose aliveness and growth.
• I serve others to the best of my ability in all I say and do.
• I am always at the right place at the right time, successfully engaged in the right activity.
• I honor and value my creativity and ideas.
• I honor myself in everything I do.
• Everything is coming to me easily and effortlessly.
• I know my value and honor my work.
• I honor and use my special skills and abilities.