(Photo Credit in Arnel’s words: I think it was the old Mr. Topico who took this picture. He owns a studio there in Malolos, and he was our school photographer. His first name escapes me.
I'm the one looking up.)
I'm the one looking up.)
***
Once upon a time, there was pen pal writing. It’s the thing you did with a pen and a sheet of paper, an envelope, a trip to the Post Office, and a stamp. You did it with a pal. I was into it in the early 80’s while finishing my degree in Literature and Broadcast Communication. My professor in English wrote for Jingle Music Magazine and she found my classmates and me several pen pals by posting our names in the mag’s pen pal column. My main purpose was to make friends with people who were reading the same magazine that catered to music lovers.
Those were thrilling times. I would wait for the postman to deliver my mails from all over the Philippines almost every other day. Being a snotty university student that I was, I filtered my correspondence. My pen pals had to have basic - if not advanced - skills in the English language, must ask unusual questions and think out of the box, must have a sense of humor, and must be intellectually titillating. My friends and I compiled letters from those who did not pass our standards and used those letters as entertainment during our down times. For the rest of our years in school and all the way to class reunions, we mercilessly made fun of all kinds of linguistic errors found in those letters. (We don’t do that anymore, having realized it’s a sin to judge!)
Anyway, one pal made his way to my heart and brain. He is Arnel Mediran, left-handed guitarist from Bulacan, engineering graduate from UP Diliman. In varying degrees of madness and weirdness, we traded written words about politics, culture, music, food, arts, people, school, travel, family, sex, money, and drugs. Nothing was taboo. For over two years, we sent each other long letters, audio tapes, photos, greeting cards, and silly stuff.
But I got married and had a child, and three more. We stopped writing. He got married and had a son. We each grew our own families, careers, and life goals.
And then, the Internet came and we found each other again (I cannot remember how). We chatted and video-called on Yahoo Messenger and emailed. It was fun again as we recalled the past. It was timely, too. Arnel saw me through that most difficult time of my life, made friends with my children, introduced me to Leo Ramos (see the first blog of this series), counseled me when I filed for annulment, and remained as my most steadfast, dependable male friend. We were intermittently, understandably, and comfortably quiet through the years as he himself also had to deal with his own challenges, as well as enjoy his wife, son, career, and music.
Now we are both more than 30 years older from when we first “pen-palled.” Ours was once a boy-girl-love nourished by handwritten-letters, now a man-woman-kinship supported by three decades of technology: from snail mail to email, from vinyl records to compact discs, from Friendster to Facebook. How many pen pals have endured this long? How many such friendships have grown comfortably and trustingly with the silence and the distance? Out there, how many inventions and revolutions have come and gone? How has the power of the written word evolved? How much of the world has changed?
A few weeks ago, I shot Arnel the same questions I asked others in this series. He has obviously become a man of few written words now, but his words are as wise and as spot-on as ever.
Dot: What do you think are the best positive lessons you learned from your parents that are valuable to you now as an adult?
Arnel: From Ina - a prayerful life. From Ama - "Working hands are the most beautiful hands."
Dot: How do you take care of yourself physically?
Arnel: I'd rather walk than ride.
Dot: Emotionally?
Arnel: Stress will get you nowhere.
Dot: Spiritually?
Arnel: Praying for others.
Dot: Mentally?
Arnel: Doing puzzles, math problems, and learning or playing guitar.
Dot: What beautiful changes are you seeing in the world now?
Arnel: Not much.
Dot: The "not much" means “nothing”?
Arnel: “Not much” means not really as beautiful as change should be.
Dot: Is there at least one beautiful change that you see?
Arnel: Connectivity? Technology? Climate change? He, he, he.
Dot: Ok. Can you tell me about your top three wins or successes in life?
Arnel: Raising a family; getting my only two (yes, only two!) compositions immortalized in hymn and stone; the third hasn't happened yet.
Dot: Who are your three or four role models, living or not, and why do you admire them?
Arnel: Stephen Curry for his unwavering faith; Tim Hawkins for his style of comedy; Eric Clapton for the blues.
Dot: What great spiritual or esoteric lessons have you learned as an adult?
Arnel: Only very recently: That we are only using our faith at 50% - when we are asking for something that is beyond our reach and efforts. The other 50%, the faith we need when asked to do something for others, is totally unknown to us.
Dot: What legacy or life work would you like to leave the world? Does this tie up with what you are focused on or advocating now?
Arnel: That I have done things to make other people's lives happier, more pleasant, and more musical. I don't have any advocacy since then. It tends to limit what you can do.
Dot: What motivates you to do what you do?
Arnel: LOVE. What else is there?
Once upon a time, there was pen pal writing. It’s the thing you did with a pen and a sheet of paper, an envelope, a trip to the Post Office, and a stamp. You did it with a pal. I was into it in the early 80’s while finishing my degree in Literature and Broadcast Communication. My professor in English wrote for Jingle Music Magazine and she found my classmates and me several pen pals by posting our names in the mag’s pen pal column. My main purpose was to make friends with people who were reading the same magazine that catered to music lovers.
Those were thrilling times. I would wait for the postman to deliver my mails from all over the Philippines almost every other day. Being a snotty university student that I was, I filtered my correspondence. My pen pals had to have basic - if not advanced - skills in the English language, must ask unusual questions and think out of the box, must have a sense of humor, and must be intellectually titillating. My friends and I compiled letters from those who did not pass our standards and used those letters as entertainment during our down times. For the rest of our years in school and all the way to class reunions, we mercilessly made fun of all kinds of linguistic errors found in those letters. (We don’t do that anymore, having realized it’s a sin to judge!)
Anyway, one pal made his way to my heart and brain. He is Arnel Mediran, left-handed guitarist from Bulacan, engineering graduate from UP Diliman. In varying degrees of madness and weirdness, we traded written words about politics, culture, music, food, arts, people, school, travel, family, sex, money, and drugs. Nothing was taboo. For over two years, we sent each other long letters, audio tapes, photos, greeting cards, and silly stuff.
But I got married and had a child, and three more. We stopped writing. He got married and had a son. We each grew our own families, careers, and life goals.
And then, the Internet came and we found each other again (I cannot remember how). We chatted and video-called on Yahoo Messenger and emailed. It was fun again as we recalled the past. It was timely, too. Arnel saw me through that most difficult time of my life, made friends with my children, introduced me to Leo Ramos (see the first blog of this series), counseled me when I filed for annulment, and remained as my most steadfast, dependable male friend. We were intermittently, understandably, and comfortably quiet through the years as he himself also had to deal with his own challenges, as well as enjoy his wife, son, career, and music.
Now we are both more than 30 years older from when we first “pen-palled.” Ours was once a boy-girl-love nourished by handwritten-letters, now a man-woman-kinship supported by three decades of technology: from snail mail to email, from vinyl records to compact discs, from Friendster to Facebook. How many pen pals have endured this long? How many such friendships have grown comfortably and trustingly with the silence and the distance? Out there, how many inventions and revolutions have come and gone? How has the power of the written word evolved? How much of the world has changed?
A few weeks ago, I shot Arnel the same questions I asked others in this series. He has obviously become a man of few written words now, but his words are as wise and as spot-on as ever.
Dot: What do you think are the best positive lessons you learned from your parents that are valuable to you now as an adult?
Arnel: From Ina - a prayerful life. From Ama - "Working hands are the most beautiful hands."
Dot: How do you take care of yourself physically?
Arnel: I'd rather walk than ride.
Dot: Emotionally?
Arnel: Stress will get you nowhere.
Dot: Spiritually?
Arnel: Praying for others.
Dot: Mentally?
Arnel: Doing puzzles, math problems, and learning or playing guitar.
Dot: What beautiful changes are you seeing in the world now?
Arnel: Not much.
Dot: The "not much" means “nothing”?
Arnel: “Not much” means not really as beautiful as change should be.
Dot: Is there at least one beautiful change that you see?
Arnel: Connectivity? Technology? Climate change? He, he, he.
Dot: Ok. Can you tell me about your top three wins or successes in life?
Arnel: Raising a family; getting my only two (yes, only two!) compositions immortalized in hymn and stone; the third hasn't happened yet.
Dot: Who are your three or four role models, living or not, and why do you admire them?
Arnel: Stephen Curry for his unwavering faith; Tim Hawkins for his style of comedy; Eric Clapton for the blues.
Dot: What great spiritual or esoteric lessons have you learned as an adult?
Arnel: Only very recently: That we are only using our faith at 50% - when we are asking for something that is beyond our reach and efforts. The other 50%, the faith we need when asked to do something for others, is totally unknown to us.
Dot: What legacy or life work would you like to leave the world? Does this tie up with what you are focused on or advocating now?
Arnel: That I have done things to make other people's lives happier, more pleasant, and more musical. I don't have any advocacy since then. It tends to limit what you can do.
Dot: What motivates you to do what you do?
Arnel: LOVE. What else is there?
Dot: (Yeah.) What website would you like to include here?
Arnel: Nothing in particular. I don't have a favorite tambayan (hangout).
Dot: A website that you perhaps have?
Arnel: The Giant Roof Foundation (TGRF)* FB page…but we're just a bunch of seniors having a great time!
Dot: What else would you like to tell me?
Arnel: Does it have to be about me, or something about YOU?
Dot: About you, or whatever. Anything you want.
Arnel: You are TIMELESSNESS personified.
As DJ in a local radio station long before the advent of Spotify and YouTube, as clerk of court, music mentor, advocate for the marginalized, and whatever role he is currently serving, Arnel has indeed made many people’s lives happier, more pleasant, and more musical than ever. Mine included, on that day when he picked up his pen and decided to make me his pal.
***
*TGRF is an alumni-based, non-stock, non-profit organization of the Marcelo H. del Pilar High School Batch 1975. Its website says that its “primary goal is to empower the youth through vocational and technical education. It also aims to promote educational, social, and economic growth in the rural areas, assist high school youth through post-secondary educational enhancement to attain sufficiency and better employment chances locally and overseas. “ TGRF also provides awards and incentives to bright and deserving students through educational grants and scholarship programs. (http://thegiantroof.tripod.com)
Arnel: Nothing in particular. I don't have a favorite tambayan (hangout).
Dot: A website that you perhaps have?
Arnel: The Giant Roof Foundation (TGRF)* FB page…but we're just a bunch of seniors having a great time!
Dot: What else would you like to tell me?
Arnel: Does it have to be about me, or something about YOU?
Dot: About you, or whatever. Anything you want.
Arnel: You are TIMELESSNESS personified.
As DJ in a local radio station long before the advent of Spotify and YouTube, as clerk of court, music mentor, advocate for the marginalized, and whatever role he is currently serving, Arnel has indeed made many people’s lives happier, more pleasant, and more musical than ever. Mine included, on that day when he picked up his pen and decided to make me his pal.
***
*TGRF is an alumni-based, non-stock, non-profit organization of the Marcelo H. del Pilar High School Batch 1975. Its website says that its “primary goal is to empower the youth through vocational and technical education. It also aims to promote educational, social, and economic growth in the rural areas, assist high school youth through post-secondary educational enhancement to attain sufficiency and better employment chances locally and overseas. “ TGRF also provides awards and incentives to bright and deserving students through educational grants and scholarship programs. (http://thegiantroof.tripod.com)
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