I met Shiela R. Castillo during a campaign for Nicanor Perlas when he ran for the Philippine presidential election many years ago. Since then, I’ve witnessed her initiatives concerning environmental issues in the Philippines and beyond. In this interview, we get to know Shiela behind her role as Climate Reality Leader of (Al Gore’s) Climate Reality Project.
(Dot, thank you for giving me an opportunity to look inside myself and ask these difficult questions that I have never asked myself before. I love you. – Shiela)
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Life’s Victories
There are three things to know about me: I am a mother of two wonderful beings, Kim and Toni; I’m an environmentalist; I’m a lover of life. I am many other things but these seem to me most important. My passion is in trying to live a life aligned with what I believe in. This might sound simple but it’s not always easy, so for me this is a life-long journey. I consider it a little victory when I feel that there is no disconnect between what I believe and what I actually do. This is not always the case, that’s why I have to be mindful.
Concrete Expressions of Loving Mother Earth
My advocacy is showing people how to love Mother Earth in many ways. Some concrete expressions of this are me being vegan, climate communicator, blogger, initiator of the Disposable Bottle Busters, and doing some green bits and pieces in my home, community and country. Here are some links you might want to look up.
https://shielarcastillo.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/disposablebottlebusters
https://www.bataris.org.ph/petitions/ban-disposable-bottles-from-school-canteens
We All Go Home
I think the most important spiritual lesson that I’ve learned is, in the end, we will all be together; we will all go home and be one. For me, this is a very comforting thought. I have struggled with self-esteem issues, feeling that I’m not good enough. I have suffered from bouts of loneliness and alienation, feeling that I am different and/or misunderstood. I couldn’t count the times I was alone and feeling lost and away from the people I love, even when sometimes they are not very far from me. I have lost people I love in failed relationships, romantic and otherwise. I get so affected by what is happening in the world like wars and conflict, disasters, traditional politics, and environmental degradation, that sometimes I feel helpless. And yet I feel there is so much love in me, sometimes so overwhelming. So, the thought that ultimately we will all be one is the most comforting thing. I have to remind myself this whenever I feel down and alone. I’d like to share this link also: https://shielarcastillo.wordpress.com/2015/10/31/the-persecution-of-love/
Live for Others
My father will be 80 in June 28, still handsome, active, and intelligent. From him, I have learned to live for others. I have seen how involved he is in the community, how he read about politics and wrote letters to newspapers and local leaders. I’ve never known a person as heroic as him, knowing what he has done for his children. Despite not being rich, he always tried to provide us a good life. But more than anything, he provided us with good education and life lessons which were not always expressed in words. I think I take from him my social awareness and civic engagement. I hope my kids would also learn this.
Persevere
From my mother I learned that one should persevere no matter what. What an amazing woman she is to be able to weather so many storms with so much strength, all the while being kind, gentle, generous, and pious. So much grace and heart! She raised me as if I’m her own and I could only repay that not just by being her daughter, but a daughter she could be proud of.
Parenting without Expectations
My top three wins in life, I think, have something to do with the lessons I’ve learned from my parents. As a young mother and single parent, I had a lot of shortcomings to my children. Later, when I had an opportunity to make up for them, I tried too much. What I consider my first win was when I was able to overcome my being a mother and start being a friend to my daughter Kim. As a mother with so many fears and failures, I projected all of them to my firstborn. I thought I was doing the right thing. So the more that I imposed my expectations on her, the more she wanted away from them. But when I started to love her without conditions and expectations, we started having a beautiful relationship. Now I think we are more open to each other and have a deeper bond. Now I know she knows that I love her no matter what. This is also instrumental for me on being a cooler and better mom for Toni. I think I am now a more accepting, allowing parent who does not impose expectations but share aspirations for their future.
Honoring My Feelings
My second win is still an ongoing battle. There was a time when I was depressive and suicidal, and although I no longer consider myself any of the two, at times I still undergo inner turmoil. But what I do now is to honor the feeling, to just let it flow. I recognize it and come face to face with it, knowing that although I hurt so bad deep inside, I will be able to manage and overcome it in time. It’s a cycle for me, but it’s not something that I get used to. When it comes, it’s a real struggle and a real hurt. I know many people would not understand because they don’t go through what I go through. It’s an inner life that only I could manage and understand.
My Biggest Victory
Third is choosing to love. It’s easy enough to give up on the world, but despite all the mess, all the hate, and all the bad in the world, I choose to continue to love. It's easier to give in to hatred and negativity, to be cynical and no longer believe in the good things in the world. Despite my failures and flaws and the inner turmoil I go through, as well as the day-to-day challenges of living, I choose to go on. It's easier to give up, walk away, and forget, but I still choose to care, I choose to love, even if people dont and I consider this my biggest victory.
Focusing on Traits Instead of Persons
I think the problem with having role models is that sooner or later, you will be disappointed that the person you admire does not turn out like the image you make her/him to be. It has happened to me many times, and the reality just bites and hurts. Nobody is perfect; even the best people have flaws, so I tend to shy away from seeing people as my role models. It is also unfair for people we admire to put them in a certain mold and just abandon our admiration if we see some little flaw. So instead of having role models, I just focus on a specific positive trait I admire in a person, knowing that with it comes that person’s unique personality, eccentricities, flaws, and perfect imperfections. Anyone and anything could be a spiritual teacher to somebody willing to see the lesson and learn. This is very hard lesson for me because I’m also very stubborn, and I’m not a fast learner in the spiritual/philosophical lessons of life. I have to learn and relearn the same lessons many times over.
So for spiritual and philosophical teachers, I love Jesus, the Buddha, Shrii Shrii Anandamurtiji, and Rudolf Steiner. Each of them lived a life worthy to be emulated. Their universal teachings reverberate for generations. For environmental activists, I admire Al Gore, Bill McKibben, Naomi Klein, and Richard Louv. They are also very good writers. I admire them because I’d like to be like them, an environmental activist who writes well. I admire Rachel Carson, John Muir, and Henry David Thoreau. They are the giants on whose shoulders Al, Bill, Naomi, Richard and hundreds of other contemporary environmental activist writers stand on.
I will never forget my college paper adviser Prof. Guillermo Roman Jr. For four years at the Philippine Normal University, he was our father figure. He’s the coolest, best mentor, teacher, and friend one could have in college. A few weeks ago I received a message from him on LinkedIn, inviting me and other former college writers to visit his farm in Bataan. That’s how he is. I will always remember him for his passion for teaching, and for being genuinely interested in his students.
I also admire Atty. Allen Salas Quimpo. Despite being an accomplished politician, businessman, educator, and environmentalist, he lived a simple life. He’s down to earth, low-profile, humble, and caring. I knew him for only a few years and met him only six or seven times, yet he made a mark in my life. I consider myself blessed for knowing him and having walked with him in caring for Mother Earth. If I could only accomplish one fourth of what he has done in his lifetime, then I could consider myself a huge success.
I admire so many others but you only asked for three or four and I've given you more than a dozen.
A Blooming Humanity
I see that humanity is starting to bloom, shifting from being a humble bud into a glorious beautiful flower. People are starting to love one another and feel brotherhood/sisterhood despite differences in color, creed, gender, etc. Never in the history of humanity have people been so connected, even to others on the other side of the globe. Technology plays an important role for this to happen, but I think ultimately people just see what’s common in each other, the divine in each other, the need to love and be loved.
I see bigotry and misogyny only in the fringes, and even if sometimes I focus too much on them and other negative things, I don't think they are the real story. I see people’s growing respect for the environment and growing awareness of their impact not just on the earth but on other living beings as well. I think the real story is that we are relearning our oneness with all of creation. It’s a slow but steady process, and what a beautiful thing it is!
Self-Care: Vegan Diet, Reading, and Writing
I don’t do much physically. I love cycling but I don’t have a bike now. I have to do yoga again but I’m too lazy for it. I exercise once in a while but only in bed, such as leg cycles, crunches, and planks but I’m lucky if I do this one week in a row. I rely heavily on my vegan diet for my physical well-being.
I take care of myself mentally by reading and writing. I read a lot every day - news items, feature articles, e-books. I can’t go a single day without reading. I know I’m not writing as much as I should. I feel there are so many things to write about, but I get distracted by a lot of things. Reading does not demand as much from me as writing does. I am lazy that way. Aside from these, I also read and write a lot in my work.
Self-Care: Music, Time-Out, and Social Work
Emotionally, I surround myself with things I love since I can’t always surround myself with the people I love (because they are people and I can’t simply keep them with me just for my emotional well-being!) I love Indian movies, music, culture, food, as long as it’s vegan. I can’t live without music. I basically work, read, and study with music on. I think half my waking hour is with all sorts of music that I love, so Spotify is my best friend. If I need time to take care of myself emotionally, I have to be by myself and wallow and exhaust my feelings and hopefully figure things out. I go out to nature or just go for a walk while crying my eyes out. I love people but I also love being alone.
I also take care of myself emotionally by doing what I love, which is social development work. I've been working for almost two decades but I only worked in a corporate setting for less than four months. I always knew that I wouldn’t last there, that it was just a half-way-house kind of thing for me. My work has got to be something I love doing, and something I believe in.
Self-Care: Silence and Prayer
I’m an introspective person and I think this is what I do to take care of myself spiritually. I should do meditation regularly but I just don’t get to do it often. I do a lot of silent moments and introspection though, which is not the same as meditation but they’re close cousins. I also talk to God a lot of times, many times a day; a one-way conversation because I don’t actually hear answers. Sometimes I get a feeling that something is being revealed to me through things that happen in my life or the life of people around me. Sometimes I also pray the way people normally pray, asking for what I want, but not always necessarily for myself. There was a time I totally stopped praying, thinking that it is lack of trust to ask God for what I want. But recently I started praying again. I had to stop myself from feeling guilty for asking, but I very seldom pray for material things, and seldom also ask for myself, so I think it’s okay.
I Walk Lightly and Love Immensely
On social media but not always there
https://www.facebook.com/shielarcastillo.ph
https://twitter.com/shiela_rc
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shielarcastillo/
You can read, comment on, and share my blogs. Please see the links I shared above. You could also email me at shielarcastillo@gmail.com
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